Mind-body disconnect Audit for Highly Sensitive and gifted People
Do you know that being Highly Sensitive is NOT a bad thing? It actually means you’re super connected to invisible energies.
Do you realise that people like you are the movers, visionaries, and changemakers of this world (when they’re in their power)?
Do you realise that your negative feelings are the key to unlocking your potential, joy and a sense of authentic confidence?
I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re now scratching your head in disbelief.
I totally get that being in your skin, and living in this world may feel more like a curse, than a fortune. I am a highly sensitive woman myself. I worked with mindbodies of other Highly Sensitive Women like you for a decade and I’m too aware of the challenges.
What I’ve discovered, however, is that you can really unpack your joy of living, and the power of your gifts only when your mind-body-spirit is connected.
I’ll explain all about how to achieve this, but first, answer these questions to audit if your mind-body-spirit is actually disconnected.
AUDIT:
Mark 1 for each point that resonates.
It’s hard for me to set and keep boundaries.
I am good at observing people but not interrupting what I observe.
I don’t feel safe in this world.
I get absorbed by other people’s stories and may forget about myself and my emotions while I’m in-tune with others.
I have been in codependent relationships.
It’s difficult or impossible for me to speak my truth knowing that people around me might disagree.
At times I run into door frames, objects or people (or did as a kid). I tend to trip over or even have some accidents by being a “klutz”.
I need to rest a long time after I experience a stimulating event or stress.
I feel the energy of other people and consider myself an empath.
I unconsciously “take on” responsibility to advice, think for someone, to process their emotions, or even to do things for them.
I feel the burden to “save the world”.
My mind gets overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings and it’s hard to calm down.
I feel better when I create, fantasise, daydream, engage in spirituality, invent theories or ideas, etc.
I have existential worries or idealistic views that result in anxious or depressive moods.
I may forget to go to the bathroom until the last moment.
I don’t respond accurately to hunger or satiation. It may look like overeating or being hungry when focusing on something.
I am sensitive to light, sounds, smells or touch (ie. a fabric or hard surface).
I tend to avoid things or people that may overwhelm my senses.
I bottle up ideas, needs, preferences, and feelings.
It’s easy for me to imagine or validate other people’s perspectives, but harder to stand for mine.
It’s common for people to talk over me or walk into me.
I tend to avoid confrontation or conflict at all cost.
I sometimes feel invisible or unimportant.
I encourage others to open up, shine their light, to take up space but don’t do that myself.
When someone hurts me, I tend to ruminate, over-analyse, and try to understand why.
I’ve had some body aches and pains or other physical issues.
My extremities feel cold.
My body gets tense, rigid or stiff, and may feel awkward to inhabit (but try to look “normal”).
I don’t feel like I belong in this physical world.
You may have a sense as if floating above the ground or feel like my head is full or hot.
I look at people and life from a higher perspective as if I’m not fully in this world.
I get fatigued and easily tired when a lot is happening.
If you answered YES to at least 5 questions, then you can be certain that your mind has left your body. If you’re more than 10 then the chances are that you feel very limited by your disconnect.
Results of disconnect
It may have been safe to dissociate and live this way but unfortunately, this disconnect creates many hurdles such as:
Difficulties in relationships, like resentment, blaming, and misunderstandings.
Being susceptible to end up in abusive relationships.
Health problems such as pains, or even chronic disease.
Underachieving or overachieving and self-pressure. This may be difficulties at work such as being underpaid, underappreciated and taken advantage of. Or in your business endeavours, you might not follow through, get distracted, or procrastinate. It may also be giving 500% of yourself to find yourself burnt out later.
Trouble falling or staying asleep.
Anxiety and/or depression.
Self neglect in various areas of life.
Insecurity and lack of confidence.
Difficulty with just going for what you want.
Being on high alert, in a state of stress, anxiety and hyper-vigilance.
Frustration for the inability to share your gifts, ideas and creations. “Not living up” to your expectations.
Guilt, shame, disappointment, and blame.
Loneliness and a sense of separation from the world.
Inability to connect with the world, sometimes even fantasising about not living in this world at all.
Living or working is misaligned with your passions and preferences.
Self-doubt and a need to control, strategise, predict, and understand.
Fatigue, burnout, or exhaustion.
Leading a “smaller life” than what you would like to have.
Not knowing what is enough. “Am I enough?” “Is my work good enough?” “Do I know enough?” “Have I done enough?”. This may lead to overworking, overgiving, overeating, pleasing, perfecting, etc.
Going around this world with a sense that no one cares about you and that the world is a scary place.
Inability to fully feel joy or feel physical pleasure.
The Mindbodyspirit connection
Just imagine, your body is a receiver of millions of bits of information that come from your environment. But if you’re disconnected and overwhelmed, always in resistance, bracing against your sensations, then everything seems jumbled up and too much to handle. Or even if you’re quite functional, then it may seem like you’re just going through the motions without feeling you can take charge of your life. Barely surviving the day. In any case, there is a sense of fragility, insecurity and helplessness.
When the mind and body are working together as a team, we feel safe in this world because we can trust ourselves.
With a united mindbody you save a lot of energy that you currently spend on bracing, tensing, avoiding, strategising, overthinking, procrastinating, ruminating, rescuing others, etc.
I bet that you have some great ideas and passions that are half-baked or have never seen the light. Maybe you don’t want to make others comfortable with your ideas or your gifts so you keep it locked in your fantasy. People who are well-embodied, who use their sensitivity in a connected way, feel much more grounded and supported to show up in this world and ask for what’s theirs. To go out and get stuff done without crushing or burning out right after. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I was there too.
The energy of the body when is free, feels much stronger and vital, like you can do what you desire. There is a felt sense of fully living out your life, not just “thinking your life”. With the mind and the body connected it is also easier to be in relationships and negotiate how you want to be treated because you are no longer frightened by the sensations that communicate about your boundaries, needs and desires.
The mind-body disconnect may feel like it’s safer in your head and imagination, and you may get swept by the tasks, responsibilities and needs of others before you remember your own. This state may feel so natural for you, to the point that prioritising yourself seems selfish.
So I’m going to be brutally honest, there is no way to become fulfilled and live a fully authentic life in a disconnected state. By constantly scanning the risks of what might hurt you next. You can become more resilient. You can make steps towards getting what you care about and feeling much more like yourself without the constant hiding.
You don’t have to fall into a narrative that HSP need to live this sheltered life barely coping and happy to be validated by IG posts and other sensitive people. I say that this narrative is not good enough for me!
So maybe by now, you consumed tons of spiritual books and self-help advice on the mental level. That’s great, but it’s probably high time to include the enormous power that lives in your body with all the wisdom that it contains and the holdings that prevent you from living a better life.
So, what next?
First step: Accept
The first step of the transformation of reintegrating the mind and the body is to accept reality. This is also a point where maybe you need to take a moment and grieve having lived a disconnected life. Self-forgiveness is always a good ideas because it’s not your fault you developed this way.
If you are a bit saddened by what you learned here is when it gets better. Over the years I defined certain stages of embodied knowing that bring you closer and closer to your “home”.
It’s never too late to reconnect and see how the above challenges lessen over time.
Have hope
HSP, intuitive, visionary and gifted folks are the best-kept secrets hiding so much potential and radiance that no one gets to enjoy. This may be because of your perfectionism, insecurity or a host of other challenges. But these are the very clues that point to your connection to your highest guidance. You have an innate gauge to The Truth.
You’re always in your head and resist reality because your one foot is in your ideal world. The flip side to this is that you’re connected to something that others can’t see and imagine. Once you can source energy and feel supported through your body, this is when you can start feeling secure in your skin and can draw from these other realms on demand. It’s not an overnight thing, but you can do it!
Stages of reintegration
Let me share with you the process I go through with my clients and hopefully this can inspire you to follow along by DIY-ing your version, or even join me to work on 1:1.
From head into the grounded body
Lovely humans like you resist emotions and unpleasant sensations all the time. They either get overwhelmed, avoid, push away, distract, or numb out. This results in overthinking, rumination, anxiety, burnout, second-guessing, being wound up, self-neglect, and inability to rest.
Solution: In this stage, you need to learn about your body awareness and its wisdom. You need to start trusting your body. In Embodied Reintegration you can learn how to become grounded and anchored in your body so that you can access your inner authority and calm down the overthinking and the inner chaos.
From this, you can expect to develop a kinder relationship with yourself, release the bracing, slow down, breathe deeper, sleep better, and start feeling safe and supported in this world.
This understanding will forever change your relationship with your body and your sensations.
To DIY, work on embodiment and mindful presence in the way that feels more aigned.
Recognise Not-self
The way you think, act and believe regarding yourself and the world has been moulded by society. We all internalised judgments, fears, and rejections we experienced and went to war with ourselves. This results in inner resistance, self-criticism, and a tug-of-war that seeps energy and distracts you from following your goals. This is where all the perfectionism, over-giving, self-criticism, overworking, and insecurity come from. It’s what takes away your voice and a sense of capability.
Solution: In this stage, you need to learn how you unconsciously give your power away and how to stop this. This enlightening stage will lead you to harmonise the inner battle and reclaim the energy you’ve been wasting. From this new space, you will be able to start creating according to your needs and dreams. In this context, you will find relief of acceptance and safety simply being who you are with a newly found liberation that it brings.
This is a life-changing shift; from victimhood to being in command. From self-betrayal to self-sovereignty.
To DIY this step, get curious about your mind-chatter whenever you get stressed. See if you can remember whose voices are you repeating when you criticise, shame and judge yourself.
Emotional bridge to growth
High emotions and sensitivity seem like a curse to most people, especially to those who think and feel deeper.
Solution: In this stage, you need to understand all about the purpose of feelings and emotions in how they help you lead life towards the highest growth and fulfilment. In Embodied Reintegration you would learn how to leverage them instead of being at their mercy, which will be transformative to how you feel.
This also guides you to tap into your inner resources for a loving sense of assurance, guidance, joy, and confidence to fill yourself up.
To DIY, maybe try EFT tapping or other way to allow your emotions to process.
The power of beliefs
Limiting narratives is what keeps people stuck in their old ways. Most know that already, but few can change their beliefs as they need to.
Solution: My process is literally taking the beliefs you want and embodying them to see the results in real life. It’s not just about speaking what you want to convince yourself. It’s about showing yourself that what you want to believe is possible.
This transformative stage will show you how much influence and power you have to create the life you desire to have.
To DIY, you can try Byron Katie’s Work. It can give you a good start to dismantle your current limitations.
Embodied Boundaries
Setting boundaries may feel impossibly difficult if you’re disconnected. In Embodied Reintegration, you will receive guided practices to express your boundaries in a balanced, confident way. You’ll learn how to work through felt resistance to make it more natural to stand your ground. You’ll see how it builds an increased sense of confidence over time.
Brave steps
People are naturally wired against changes. The sensitive, introverted folks very often are terrified and avoid many things that could be expansive because they fear overwhelm and discomfort. As they avoid the risks, they sacrifice their evolution, potential for joy and success. This is a guided process that teaches how to rewire your approach to any fear, resistance or challenge. I will work with you on how to use your nervous system to gradually expand and go for the things you’re currently afraid of. You can use it for anything that you fear to become confident and unstoppable.
To DIY, start with a small challenge towards something you would love to do, but didn’t dare to start until now.
Summary
Reconnecting your mind-body-spirit is not an overnight success. Don’t believe anyone who would promise you a quick fix or a single tool to become connected. You’re a complex being that is so in touch with the dimensions, and your energetical makeup requires loving, consistent showing up. The rewards and the liberation you receive in return are priceless and outweigh greatly the effort that you put into the process. Importantly, though, Embodied Reintegration is a reliable system that changes your relationship with yourself while helping you change your perception of everything else.
You’ll be guided through principles and tools that you can use for your entire life while your dreams and desires may change. This process is a permanent transformation of the relationship with yourself that will help you in rebalancing and aligning closer and closer to who you want to be.
There is no way to think or figure out a way to thrive in a disconnected mind-body. Many have tried and sought to avoid this through “heady” spirituality and positive thinking. It’s simply impossible to feel safe and connected without working with your body and the sooner you accept it, the sooner you will enter into the stage of your life when you live an authentic, full life, aligned to your needs and values.
If you’re interested in working on this with me, enquire here.
And a bonus. Watch my recent video on boundaries here that explains this energetic disconnect some more : Why boundaries are so hard for HSP, empaths and gifted folks? https://youtu.be/6TjQ3FpJ2ME
