Spiritual bypassing in the lives of highly sensitive people, INFJs, and introverts
Highly sensitive people (HSP) are wonderful escape artists. Escaping reality every day. Art, books, music, movies.
Don’t get me wrong, this world is sometimes unbearable and as an introvert and INFJ, I’m not entirely biased against it. It’s a classic coping mechanism to find a refuge where things are a bit nicer, slightly prettier, safer, more interesting.
Spirituality makes for a wonderful escape. I mean, it’s got all the ingredients:
Might genuinely contribute to growth in some aspects
There is a community of like-minded supporters (just in case you would feel weird)
It feels good
It sort of feels like it makes you a better person than others.
So what could be wrong with that?
From my experience, there is essentially one word.
It's ineffective
Escaping into the spiritual realm may be a reinforcing habit of avoidance that many introverts and sensitive people partake in. This withdrawal contributes to splitting from reality, and that’s not the point of spirituality. What’s more, it keeps you feeling weak and disempowered.
We need our physical aspect.
In my experience as a well-practised avoidant, the goal is to connect the Earth with Heaven to evolve. Ironically, the key ingredient of evolution is a challenge.
In the physical world, we meet challenges all the time. A colleague at work said something to diminish your efforts, your partner forgot about your anniversary and just went out with friends, your roof is leaking, or there is a demonic evil teacher in your kid’s school that makes your family’s life hell. Physical stuff is what we face almost every day.
But evolution happens only when we experience friction of the physical experience and deal with it with an empowered mindset of our Higher Self.
Just like the diamond.
If you want to evolve, you must face the physical obstacles with a keen awareness of what we do and why we do it. Each of them is a chance to choose the Old self solution or the Higher Self solution.
All healing of traumas and wounds happens through daily small and big decisions of how we choose to show up. Mostly for ourselves. Healing your wounds cannot happen unless you
Finally, stand up for yourself
Say NO to that leech of a friend
Apply for another position where people might finally respect you
Tell your spouse you are choosing yourself instead of solving all his problems (and do it!)
I know many, many, many people who curse this Earth and would just want to remain in their fantasy, creativity and spiritual visualisations.
But this fantasy is short-lived. And as much as time spent in meditation is important because it allows us to connect with that Higher Self, helps calm the busy mind to make space for the right decision to arise, it’s not a solution to our problems.
We don’t have to act on our problems. Choosing inaction after a contemplation over a lovely cup of tea is a perfect solution, if you ask me. In fact, most problems can be solved by not solving them. But it also needs to be an empowering choice of physical action.
There is also something to be said about how awareness of zoning out is needed.
I noticed in my own life that when I “escape” into watching movies, music, or other distractions with full intention, it makes me stronger. That’s because it’s an intentional choice. And doing it consciously, I know I can get back to life at any moment when I feel more ready. I remain anchored to the senses in my body and my attention is always partly connected to myself.
This makes a great difference and transforms our little escapes into relaxing refuge.
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And if you want my personal support dealing with patterns of withdrawal and avoidance, check out my Embodied Reintegration and arrange a clarity call to learn more. This process is a deep dive into the mindbody journey that will get you on track to feel confident, connected and in charge of your emotions.
